I'm still in pain
by Angel Goldheart
Summary: After the breakup, Alec can't find a way to move on. His sibling does everything to help him, but in the end, Alec is the only one who can help himself. Kinda au as this didn't happen in the books. Rated because of paranoia.
1. Chapter 1

Hey again. Long time no see. I have a bunch of exams coming up. The first one is in a few hours and I am so nervous. So I wrote this. I got the idea after listening to Kelly Clarksons "already gone". I hope you like it. Please review, favorite and follow if you want more updates.

\- Angel Goldheart

Chapter 1

It began the night after the breakup. Isabelle was sitting in the library, studying, which was very rare for her. She heard the front door open and close and guessed that her brother, Alec had gotten back from his erinde. He didn't really tell her anything, but he was her brother. Her annoyingly correct and studious older brother. She threw the book over her shoulder and walked down the stairs the the front door. The sight that met her was heartbreaking. It seemed that Alec had only just gotten past the door, and was now sitting, crying, with his back to the hard wood.

"Alec? What happened?" Izzy asked panicked.

"M-magnus b-b-broke up w-with me." He said between sobs. Isabelle knew that her brother needed her, as she had needed him several times. Not asking questions or saying anything, just being there beside him. She sat down beside him and he put his head on her shoulder. They sat like that for a while before Alec got up.

"I need to get some sleep. Thanks Izzy." He said, though not smiling or looking directly at her. He was just too ashamed and his soul felt like it had been crushed completely.

"Do you want to tell me what happened.?" Isabelle asked her brother, who was halfway up the stairs.

"I'm sorry, but no izz." He said sadly.

It was morning. Izzy was on her way to wake her brother, both to get him up, and to see that he was okay. When she walked into his room, he was still asleep. Some people looked younger when they were asleep, but Alec looked like a little child. He was laying on his side and had curled into a ball. His face looked younger and the maturity in his eyes were gone. The black hair nearly hid his eyes. Except the tear streaks on his cheeks, he looked like a 5 year old. Isabelle lightly touched his shoulder.

"Izz?" Alec muttered, his eyes still closed.

"Mmh." She said.

"I want to sleep." He said, and in a way, he kinda sounded like he was five.

"You gotta get up." Isabella said gently. Her brother had had a rough night, but he had to practice.

"I don't want to get up."

"Alec come on." She said, her voice turning less gently and more persistent.

"Just leave me." He said. Isabelle got up and walked out of the door, without closing it. Then she ran down a few corridors, until she reached the room that she was looking for. She knocked on the door and a few seconds later, a halo of gold stood in the door.

"Hey izzy. What's up." Jace asked.

"You have to talk to Alec. This is your area of expertise." Isabelle said.

"What? Seducing ladies, looking hot or just being magnificent." Jace said. Isabelle rolled her eyes.

"Alec came home crying yesterday. He said that Magnus broke up with him." She said. Jace's smile fell quickly and he walked with hurried steps back towards Alec's room.

"Alec?" Jace asked gently. Jace had a weak spot for his parabatai. Both because at the same time, he was like a older brother and a younger brother. He sat down on the bed.

"Go away, jace." Alec said weakly, as I he was debating with himself if he wanted his siblings to leave or if he wanted them to stay.

"I know how you feel, dude. When I found out that Clary and I was related, I wanted to do the same as you are doing right now, but you just have to get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other, until the pain is somewhat bearable. It's hard, but it's necessary." Jace said. Alec looked at him

"Where did you read that." Alec asked

"Why Alec. It's my words of wisdom." Jace said, smiling. And to his great enjoyment, so did Alec


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer-( I forgot the last disclaimer, so this disclaimer goes for all the chapters in this story.) I do not own tmi.

Chapter 2

It had been a week since his breakup with Magnus, and Alec was doing better. He was getting a bit happier everyday. Yesterday, he laughed at one of Jace's jokes, but stopped as soon as he noticed. But everyday, he somehow fell back into his depression. He was sitting in one of the institute's windows, reading. But as he looked outside, he caught sight of a tall man walking up to the old building.

"Magnus?" Alec whispered, not sure weather to be happy or angry. He was happy that Magnus had come, but he was angry that he had broken up with him. He called for Isabelle to open the door.

"Isabelle, darling how are you?" Magnus said in his usual voice. Isabelle stared at him with a mixture of rage and something else.

"you shouldn't be here." She said.

"I need to see Alec." Magnus said.

"The hell you're not." Jace said, coming down the stairs.

"Jace, I just want to talk to him. I have decided to give him a new chance." Magnus smiled.

"No way." Jace and Isabelle said at the same time.

"We have had to watch him crumble every day, for the last week. You aren't just going to waltz in here and break him again." Jace said, walking threateningly closer to Magnus.

"Why don't he decide it." Magnus said, looking over Jace's shoulder. Alec was standing on the stairs with his black hair covering his eyes and a grey, worn out, sweatshirt on.

"Hello darling." Magnus said as he pushed past Jace and Isabelle. But as he was only a few meters from Alec, the shadowhunter held forward his hands, stopping him.

"I think you should go." Alec said, his voice dangerously close to breaking.

"No, no darling. I have decided to offer you another chance. I still love you. Aku cinta kamu." He said. Alec's eyes were shining with unshed tears that threatened to spill.

"Go home, Magnus." Alec said, turning and running upstairs.

"I think your business here is over, warlock." Jace said. Magnus walked silently out the door with his head raised.

Alec was sitting in his room, a few tears escaping his eyes. There was no way for him to win this situation. If he sent Magnus home, he gave up the best thing in his life, ever. But if he let him back in, he might break his heart again, and Alec wasn't sure if he'd ever recover from another serious heartbreak.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey everyone. I think this might be the last chapter. Unless some of you want another, or more than one chapter more. I know that the last scene is kinda cheesy, but I love cheesy goodbye-scenes. I think they are adorable. But please review if I should post another chapter, or just to tell me your opinion on this story. Also, please favorite and follow.

Disclaimer- if I owned anything. I would have made a book 7.

Chapter 3

Alec was talking to Jace and Isabelle in the kitchen.

"I have to tell you something." Alec said. Isabelle looked at him questioningly.

"I need to get away for a while. I'm going to Idris." Alec stated. Both his siblings looked like they were going to choke on their breakfast.

"You're what?" Jace asked.

"I have some stuff that I need to get away from, temporarily. So I have called dad in Idris. I can stay with him for a few months." Alec said.

"Does this stuff have a cat, along with an addiction to glitter?" Jace asked. Alec rolled his eyes.

"Among other things. This isn't goodbye, as I said, I'm coming back in a few months." Alec said.

" how are you going to get to Idris." Isabelle asked.

"Well, I thought that maybe Clary could make a portal." Alec said.

"Fine, I'm going to call her." Jace said, sounding a bit annoyed.

(A few hours later)

"are you ready Alec." Izzy asked. Alec smiled at her.

"Yeah, it's gonna be good for me to get away for a while." Alec said. Isabelle smiled at him sadly.

"The portal's done, Alec." Clary said. She walked up and hugged him.

"See you soon, Clary." Alec said."and take care of Jace. Make sure he doesn't get himself killed while I'm gone." He whispered. She chuckled a little. He walked over to izzy.

"Bye izz. Take care of yourself, okay?" He smiled.

"Yeah, yeah, Alec. And what are you going to do while in Idris?" She said, while hugging her brother.

"Oh I don't know. Have fun, for the first time in my life." He said sarcastically. She laughed. Jace walked up to them and they shared one of their rare group hugs.

"Good luck, Alec." Jace said. Alec looked at him suspiciously.

"I'm only going to be away for half a year, maybe less. You sound like you are saying goodbye." He wondered.

"Take care of each other, right? All of you." He said, the whispering to Isabelle."could you just check up on how Magnus is doing?" Ha asked. She nodded.

"I've gotta go." He said.

"WAIT." Someone yelled. Everyone turned around, even though they all knew the voice.

"You can't go Alexander. Please stay." Magnus said. Alec looked conflicted for a second before determination became evident in his eyes.

"I've gotta go. Sorry Magnus." He said and turned away. He walked up to the portal and turned back once. Isabelle was waving at him. Clary was holding Jace's hand and they were smiling at each other. Magnus stood a little away and looked at him. He shook his head slowly before turning around. He took a step into the portal...


End file.
